How do you decide what to do for Valentine's Day?

Do you peruse the Epicurious Esquire's glorious archive of restaurant reviews and culinary tales – all gently resting on the dung heap of barely readable drivel – and pick out a restaurant for Valentine's Day?

Easy? Sure. Possibility of being led astray? Zero.

So why not do it? Well, many people will, thinking it too much trouble to shop and cook. But tradition holds Valentine's Day is special, and little in life marks a special moment like a home-cooked meal.

Cooking a proper meal on Valentine's Day is a win-win proposition. If the food arrives on the dinner table as a Valentine's meal should – tender, succulent, warm and comforting – then you'll play culinary hero for a night.

But not everybody is Tyler Florence, the magnetic Italian chef capable of whipping out an Applebee's-quality meal in mere moments, so you may completely screw the whole thing up. If you do, just shrug your shoulders, laugh at yourself and order pizza. Your efforts at the store and in the kitchen will make you look earnest, and it is impossible to misunderestimate the importance of being earnest. The wine will still be potable, and at the end of the evening, isn't that all that really matters?

Ok, now that we've agreed you're going to cook for Valentine's Day, the question now is, “What to cook?”

Recently, I attended a 3-part cooking class at Sur La Table hosted by one of the most celebrated chefs in Texas , Guest Chef Joel Harloff of The Landmark at The Melrose Hotel ( http://www.melrosehoteldallas.com/da_landmark_landmark.aspx ). The cooking class was hands-on, educational and thoroughly enjoyable. And somehow Chef Joel never noticed that I was guzzling wine like a paysan every time he turned around.

And luckily for you, my loyal fan, friend and follower, I drank just enough wine to muster up the courage to ask Chef Joel if he would help me construct a Valentine's Day meal, following these simple rules.

First, the meal has to be easy enough for the beginner chef but radiate sophistication from every morsel. Second, it can't take too long to cook. I've set a one hour limit for both prepping and actual cook time. Third, it can't be ridiculously expensive. And finally, it has to look and taste like something that should be served on a day celebrating love, warmth and companionship, so grilled chicken breast with steamed broccoli is out.

Before we start, let's not forget what I call the Cardinal Rule of “Cooking to Impress.” You simply must use the finest ingredients available. It makes no difference whether you go to The Farmer's Market, Rudolph's, Jimmy's, Whole Foods or Central Market. If you need assistance, don't hesitate to ask the advice of the butcher or the person in the wine section. They are a treasure trove of knowledge and my experience is they are eager to help, no matter how basic the question.

An appetizer should always be wine friendly, but never too heavy or filling, thereby rendering the entrée superfluous.

For the appetizer, Chef Joel recommends Dry-Spiced Scallops. You could also use shrimp, but in Chef Joel's words, the scallops are more “sensual” than shrimp, and I agree. Shrimp are so common that they have become part of the culinary bourgeoisie.

Dry-Spiced Scallops

10 10/20 size scallops
3 tbsp olive oil
Juice of 2 fresh limes
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp ground chili powder
½ tsp granulated onion
½ tsp ground cayenne
½ tsp dry oregano

• Combine the scallops and the rest of the ingredients in a large Ziplock bag and mix well;
• Refrigerate for 1 hour;
• Heat a thick sauté pan on medium-high heat ;
• Lightly sauté the scallops on each side. Different sized scallops require different cooking times. To determine how long your scallops will need to be cooked, take one scallop and cook it to medium rare. The pan should be hot enough to give the scallop a golden crust. Once again, depending on the scallop it will take anywhere from 1 minute per side to 3 minutes per side. After you have cooked the first scallop, you should have a good idea of how to do the rest. Be very careful not to overcook as scallops are unpleasant when overdone;
• Season to taste with Sea Salt and Fresh-Cracked Black Pepper; and
• Serve immediately with a Vinho Verde or a nice sparkling wine such as Gruet.

Note: Be very careful to avoid scallops injected with sodium tripolyphosphate as it makes searing nearly impossible. The easiest way to avoid this is to go to the Central Market fish counter and ask for help.

This combination will provide a spritzy and zesty start to the evening, whetting the appetite for the more substantial entrée.

For the entrée, Chef Joel recommended the Pan-Roasted New York Strip with Bordelaise Sauce, a classic French dish.

Pan-Roasted New York Strip with Bordelaise Sauce

The following makes 4 servings.

4 ½ inch-thick New York Strip steaks (each about 8 ounces – buy Prime steaks, if possible)
1 tbsp olive oil
1 large shallot, minced
1 cup dry red wine (make sure you buy two bottles of the wine you're drinking)
¼ tsp crushed black peppercorns
½ dried bay leaf
1 tbsp chopped fresh thyme
1 cup demi-glace (Sold at Central Market)
4 tbsp butter
Handful of Chopped Fresh Parsley

Instructions:

• Heat olive oil in heavy large skillet or cast iron pan over high heat;
• Lightly sprinkle steaks with fresh ground sea salt and freshly cracked pepper;
• Add to skillet and sear until cooked to desired doneness, about 3 minutes per side for medium-rare (recommended);
• Transfer steaks to plates;
• Add shallot to pan and sauté until translucent, about 3 minutes;
• Add wine to pan, scraping up browned bits, and cook until reduced by half;
• Add crushed peppercorns, bay leaf, thyme and demi-glace to skillet and bring to a boil;
• Reduce heat to medium and simmer for 5 minutes and strain;
• Whisk in butter, 1 tablespoon at a time;
• Add the steak back in, turning from side to side to make sure it is piping hot; and
• Season to taste with more fresh ground sea salt and freshly cracked pepper, if necessary.

I'm no chef, but this Epicurious Esquire family recipe for mashed potatoes will perfectly complement the Steak and Bordelaise Sauce.

Gruy è re Mashed Potatoes

1 ½ lbs of Yukon Gold Potatoes, quartered (peeling is optional)
½ lb of Gruy è re cheese, grated (you can always add more cheese, as desired)
4 oz of heavy cream
¼ stick of butter
Sea Salt and Fresh-cracked Black Pepper, to taste

• Cover potatoes by at least 1” of cold, salted water;
• Bring to a boil;
• Boil potatoes for approximately 15 minutes. Pull out a quartered potato and check for consistency. If a fork slides easily through, then it's finished;
• Mash potatoes with grated Gruy è re; and
• Once the cheese and potatoes have been mashed together, slowly add butter and heavy cream until desired consistency is reached. You don't have to use it all.

The Steak and Potatoes would do well with a simple vegetable side dish.

Green Beans with Butter

 ½ pound cleaned, trimmed green beans
1 tbsp butter
Sea Salt and Fresh Cracked Pepper

• Boil the green beans in salted water;
• After 5 minutes, check consistency;
• Once the green beans have reached the desired consistency (depending on the thickness of the bean, it could take anywhere from 5 minutes to 15 minutes), drain in a colander; and
• Toss with butter heated in a sauté pan over medium heat while the green beans were boiling.

Serve the Steak with the Bordelaise Sauce drizzled over the top and the Potatoes and Green Beans on the side. Don't forget to mix the Bordelaise Sauce in with the Potatoes.

I would recommend pairing the Steak and the Potatoes with Carneros Creek Pinot Noir Reserve 2003. Available only Goody-Goody's, it may be the finest $14.99 bottle of wine in Dallas .

Unfortunately, the vast majority of us – absolutely including me – have fallen prey to the hectic schedule of modern life, preventing us from indulging in time-consuming, intra-weekly pleasure. Since Valentine's Day falls on a Wednesday and since very few of us will be taking time off from work to bake dessert for Valentine's Day, I would call Roshi at Society Bakery ( www.societybakery.com ) and ask her to have a deep, rich chocolate dessert ready for pick-up.

Pair whatever chocolate decadence you buy from Roshi with fresh raspberries and a bottle of Brachetto D'Acqui from Pogo's ( www.pogoswine.com ) and you will have a Valentine's Day meal to remember.

And remember, you can always go out to eat later in the week.

When you look at the Asians, the Asian is very gifted in creation, creativity and inventions. If you go to Japan or any Asian country, they can turn a television into a watch. They're very creative …”

Reggie White, NFL Hall of Famer known as “The Minister of Defense,” in remarks made to the Wisconsin State Assembly, March 25, 1998 .

Was Reggie attempting to found a School of Post-Existentialist Thought or was he was just trying to embarrass himself in a government building? Either way, it's too bad he's not around to experience real governmental embarrassment. But I do know this - his childish stereotypes are wrong. The only thing this white guy taps into is a keg and the only thing I'm building is a monumental beer belly.

I've also never met a Japanese person who could claim to have heard of another Japanese person with the skills to turn a television into a watch. But at Tei-Tei Robata, the sushi chefs skillfully turn simple ingredients into gustatory delights of the highest order.

The décor of Tei-Tei is minimalist and modern, with clean lines, blonde wood and an industrial concrete floor. Arrayed on ice along the front of the sushi bar are fruits of the sea enticing diners with their visible freshness.

Unless you are a teetotaler, the long trek from the front door to the lounge must be made. You will be greeted by the sounds of Michael Sheridan, the resident DJ for 4 years. He claims to “have [Tei-Tei] down to a science.” But it wasn't always so easy for him. At the beginning of his tenure, when he used to spin a hard-house/techno mix, an old cowboy wearing a “leather noose” watched Michael spin. After a song or two, the man motioned to Michael. “I think I know how this works. You listen to all the good music in those headphones, and you play all the bullshit for us.” Well, after 4 years, Michael's eclectic selection of Asian-inspired lounge and Rock ‘n' Roll remixes has been become as much a fixture at Tei-Tei as the food. On our visit, Michael played inventive remixes of the Nine Inch Nails and Franz Ferdinand, as well as a sampling of jazzy, downtempo lounge, creating a softly energetic musical palette this reviewer very much enjoyed.

Once seated in the lounge, surrounded by what Michael calls the “slightly above casual” crowd, Santiago Cantu, the long-haired veteran Dallas mixologist, will fulfill your request for a heaven-sent elixir. I told Santiago I love vodka tonics even more than Rob Campos loves splashing around in a hot tub, but I just wasn't in the mood for a sweet drink. So he suggested a vodka sonic, a hearty pour of vodka with equal parts soda and tonic and a twist of lemon - 50% of the calories and 110% of the alcohol! Brilliant! A drink or 3 in the lounge is a prefect prelude to dinner.

Before you order, review the chalkboard specials. On our visit, the choices ranged from Arrow Squid to Fresh-Grated Wasabi Root to Monkfish Pate to Garlic Sautéed Mushrooms to Beef Tongue. Few restaurants offer such challenging food choices.

We started with shishito peppers, a small Japanese pepper with a sweet/mildly spicy flavor. Served piping hot from the Robata grill, a charcoal-based northern Japanese-style of grilling, they perfectly complement an ice-cold biiru (Japanese for beer). Shishito peppers offer a much more interesting way to start than the traditional edamame .

Next up? The finest fried shrimp this reviewer has ever had, unless the inebriation that accompanies every meal commencing after 5 p.m. has left a black hole in the memory banks. 5 enormous shrimp are rolled in whole cornflakes, deep fried to a crispy, golden outside and a succulent inside, and served with a large dollop of mentai mayonnaise. What is mentai ? It's pickled cod roe! This classic Japanese flavor sounds scary but provides a tangy counterpoint to the starchiness of the cornflake crust. My Bro was right when he said it may be the only filling item on the menu, and when the exceptional taste is factored in, Cornflake Shrimp becomes an absolute must-order for every Tei-Tei visit.

Then came the ultra-expensive, nearly mythical Kobe Beef. Taken from the Tajima strain of the Black Wagyu, the finest Kobe beef comes from only virgin females cows. In Texas , we rarely examine the chastity of female cows, or other critters for that matter, but who is splitting hairs? These virgins are treated just like every slovenly, drunken male friend of mine dreams of being treated, at least until they are carved up for cooking on a hot stone. During the hot summer months, when the cow's appetite wanes, they are “force fed” ice-cold biiru and massaged daily with special oils. Don't believe me?